Messages for Hanna

I can hardly believe that our meeting at SVA was almost ten years ago. I still remember the first time I talked with you and Marc, and how deeply you empathized with my experiences in China. I will always cherish everything I learned from you—things I had never learned before in China. They helped me become a better person, someone more able to see and understand the struggles of others. Since graduating, I have been struggling through my own life, often running on empty, and even now I still find it hard to slow down. I am sorry that after you became ill, I didn’t reach out more or say what I should have said. Perhaps I felt a sense of shame for not having “succeeded” or for not living a better life, and so I hid myself. But none of that matters now. When I heard of your decision, from far away in my home, I was suddenly overwhelmed by memories and by a deep sense of gratitude for fate. Your courage, care, and love will always stay with me and accompany me into the future. Knowing that you will soon be free from pain and find peace, I feel as though I, too, have been granted a kind of forgiveness. I hope that one day, when I think of you, I will also finally be able to feel proud of myself. I miss you and I send you my blessings.